Music
Person 1 (male): Caltech's money comes from individuals not the state / A little from the Navy, maybe half but nothing great. It's really
private enterprise that's made the place so great / So make the associates smile.
Chorus: Gather up a lot of money / Gather up a lot of money / Gather up a lot of money / And watch Dr. DuBridge smile.
Person 1: Intellectual eminence won't get you very far / You need a research contract if you want to be a star / Forty-five percent
for overhead will make you popular / And make Mr. George Green smile.
Chorus: Strive to get yourself a contract / Strive to get yourself a contract / Strive to get yourself a contract / To make Mr. George
Green Smile.
Person 2 (male): From history of science there's a moral to be learned / Every chemist needs his patrons, filthy lucre can't be spurned /
But don't forget that Galileo very nearly burned / So make those associates smile.
Chorus: Strive to save department money / Strive to save department money / Strive to save department money / And watch the associates
smile.
Person 3 (male): We turn out all the burners when we leave the lab at night / We close up all the windows and we turn out every light / The
undenatured outcome of all this is safely out of sight / Just to make the associates smile.
Chorus: Strive to save department money / Strive to save department money / Strive to save department money / And watch Holmes Sturdivant
smile.
Person 4 (female): To win a happy housewife you must not pitch woo at me / To be a student here I had to promise faithfully / To give my all
for science and forsake felicity / And make those misogynists smile.
Chorus: Strive to rise in your profession / Strive to rise in your profession / Strive to rise in your profession / And make Dean
Lacey smile.
Person 5 (male): Experimental drudgery is now quite obsolete / I can sit here at my desk and place my head below my feet / And solve all nature's
problems by an introspection neat / And make the Academy smile.
Chorus: Theoretical creations / Tennis balls can lead to inspiration / Tennis balls can lead to inspiration / And make the Academy
smile.
Person 5: You needn't spend a lifetime doing chromatography / With my slick stochastic method and imagination free / The structure
of the proteins is no mystery to me / I make those molecules smile.
Chorus: Theoretical creations / Tinker toys can lead to inspiration / Tinker toys can lead to inspiration / And make those molecules
smile.
Person 2: An Oscar for a movie star is easy to obtain / But to be a Nobel Laureate you need a mighty brain / When asked to give a lecture
you must nod and not abstain / And make the audience smile.
Chorus: Make a lecture tour frequently / Make a lecture tour frequently / Be sure to lecture eloquently / And make your audience
smile.
All: With Pauling as our Chairman life at Crellin is okay / Mistakes in our predictions do not cause us much dismay / From one
approximation we will never never stray / And make Dr. Pauling smile.
All: Make- a first approximation / Guess- a first approximation / Don't- resort to calculation / And make Dr. Pauling smile.
